Meditate on it day and night.

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You. Blessed are You, O Lord; teach me Your statutes. With my lips I have told of all the ordinances of Your mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate on Your precepts and regard Your ways. I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word." Psalm 119:9-16 (NASB).

I learned a lot of things today.

I probably learned the most from one question my dad asked me. one of many questions I should have asked myself a long time ago.

"why do you believe in Limited Atonement?"

granted, this isn't your normal Sunday School question. but, raised in a home grounded in biblical, reformed faith, I should have known the answer. I probably could have answered this question back in grade school, when I would memorize the Shorter Catechism and sweat my way through my presentation of it every Sunday morning.

unfortunately, the habit didn't stick.

so I sat and stared hopelessly at the dashboard, dreading to ask the stupidest question of my life.

"so, I'm sure I know what atonement is, I just don't remember exactly what the specific term... means."

the stunned silence could have been a slap on the mouth. oh boy.

you might think my dad was unkind in asking me an unfair question. after all, I'm a believer, why do I have to spit back textbook answers about the doctrine I believe in? I believe it because it's in the Bible, isn't that enough?

not really.

dad pointed out that if I believe it, I should know it. I should be able to refer myself to the passage of Scripture and assure myself that I'm not deceived. because we all know that sometimes the greatest trickster is ourselves.

my pride was badly injured. but, as I mentioned in yesterday's blogpost, God recently brought to me the harsh reality of my selfish anger and has graciously been teaching me to be more like Him. so (praise God), I bit my lip and thought about it.

I was upset. crying, actually. partially from my busted balloon. but partially (praise God) because I was convicted.

everyone has issues reading God's word on a daily basis and being 100% interested in it. obviously. it's our sinful nature. but that is no excuse for me to not be reminding myself daily, weekly, monthly, annually of why I believe what I believe.

why I believe in Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints. (Calvinism).

why I believe the Bible is the very words of God.

why I believe in believer's baptism and not paedo (infant) baptism.

why I believe in waiting for marriage.

why I believe that homosexuals don't go to heaven.

no, knowing the references to these are essential to my salvation. but I claim to be saved, so why can't I answer the actually simple questions about my faith when I have the Bible sitting next to my bed and a lifetime of biblical teaching ringing in my ears?

it's the common plight of many children raised in a Christian home. I understand and agree with and actually believe the truth of the Bible, but I can barely articulate it.

so here are my new best friends, joined always with my Bible. with these I pray to become less vague about my faith.

P.S.: this video swept the Internet about a month or so ago. while there is some truth to be had in what he says, I know I can never fully agree with him, especially after what I learned today. biblical religion and doctrine divides the 60% of Americans who say they're Christians from the less than 30% who can actually explain the gospel and find it in the Scriptures. let us all be discerning, like the Bereans.