Totally Depraved.

"what are you going to say before God?"

I was only eleven or so, but after a discussion with my parents about grace, forgiveness, and my personal spiritual state, my dad posed this challenge to me.

"what are you going to say before God? if you die today, and you're standing before God at the gates of heaven, and He asked 'why should I let you in', what will you say?"

young and unsaved, I remember going about the next few days pondering the question. I would get nervous, even. what if I did die now, and I didn't have anything rehearsed? being open and trusting, I walked down a couple houses to my Catholic neighbor friend to play.

after a rigorous game of riding bikes around her yard and pretending they were cars in traffic and we were in our twenties, I brought up the heavy topic on my mind. neither one of us really wanted to discuss it during the Arthur the Aardvark episode, but we hawed and hummed for a bit until she giggled, "I'd say 'hey! let me in! I'm a good kid!'"

my dad raised me more biblically than that, so I smiled half-heartedly and began to write a speech I would present before God. "I believe in Jesus Christ, and I know He's the Son of God, and I, I, I."

the popular belief among Christians today is that man somehow has a little bit of good in him. Albert Martin, who I've mentioned in a previous blogpost, spoke at a conference on the five points of Calvinism. the point of this blogpost is not Calvinism, so I won't get into that (yet). I wanted to focus a little more on what he covered in the topic of total depravity.

there are so many things to cover with total depravity, but the main part I would like to talk about is man's inability to commend himself to God. before salvation through Jesus Christ, every human being is completely dead in their sin.

yes, of course, there are good people out there. they help the little old ladies across the street, carry groceries for pregnant women, save another person's life, or risk their own for the good of the many. think of all the nurses, doctors, soldiers, policemen, fire fighters, and other occupational heroes that do exponential good for so many people. or the fathers, coaches, teachers, neighbors, grandparents, mothers, bus drivers that are small-town heroes in their own way. humans are not incapable of showing civil kindness. that is evident.

however. any one of those people, those heroes, whether acclaimed or not, who do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, who do not proclaim Him as Lord and Savior, who do not fervently acknowledge that they would still be walking dead if it wasn't for Him and His grace alone... are still totally depraved.

"What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; as it is written, 'THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE; THERE IS NONE WHO UNDERSTANDS,THERE IS NONE WHO SEEKS FOR GOD; ALL HAVE TURNED ASIDE, TOGETHER THEY HAVE BECOME USELESS; THERE IS NONE WHO DOES GOOD, THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE. THEIR THROAT IS AN OPEN GRAVE, WITH THEIR TONGUES THEY KEEP DECEIVING, THE POISON OF ASPS IS UNDER THEIR LIPS; WHOSE MOUTH IS FULL OF CURSING AND BITTERNESS; THEIR FEET ARE SWIFT TO SHED BLOOD, DESTRUCTION AND MISERY ARE IN THEIR PATHS, AND THE PATH OF PEACE THEY HAVE NOT KNOWN.THERE IS NO FEAR OF GOD BEFORE THEIR EYES.'" Romans 3:9-18(NASB).

what could I possibly say to God as I stand in His presence upon death? if it wasn't for God alone... His "invisible hand" moving me to search for a foundation, a truth. His choosing me, electing me to be among His fold. His work of rebirth in my soul, creating a new person, a new being, a new workmanship. His harsh, challenging, heart-breaking methods of bringing me closer to Him. I would still be glorifying my own lusts, strutting my way to hell.

so I will finally answer my dad's question:

"what are you going to say before God?"

nothing. I will simply refer to Jesus Christ and bawl in reverence, "only He can recommend me, because even my best work would make You dry-heave in disgust. Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe."