Fickle.

today's sermon really hit home for me. the pastor is working the church through Mark, today's passage being Mark 14:26-31. he named it "Pride Comes Before a Fall".

"After singing a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. And Jesus said to them, 'You will all fall away, because it is written, "I will strike down the Shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered." But after I have been raised, I will go to Galilee.' But Peter said to Him, 'Even though all may fall away, yet I will not.' And Jesus said to him, 'Truly I say to you, that this very  night, before a rooster crows twice, you yourself will deny Me three times.' But Peter kept saying insistently, 'Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!' And they were all saying the same thing also." Mark 14:26-31 (NASB).

the entire sermon was excellent. I am blessed to know about this godly, biblical church. one point, however, stood out the most to me. notice how fickle Peter is. I mean, he is enraptured by the holiness of Christ, enamored with Jesus, the Son of God walking on the Mount with him, and he vehemently and passionately cries, "I will never deny You!"

in the very same chapter, the very same day, as Jesus predicted, Peter denied his association with Christ three times. three times! that's a whole lot of denial. it takes a true coward to stand up and deny the God-man merely a few hours after telling Him to his face "I never would, Jesus, no, You're wrong about me."

and yet how many times have I done that? I've wept at the mercy and grace of God, marveled at His love and awesome power, and promise Him, "I will never forsake You, I will never let you down, I will never do this sin again in my life, because I love You, Jesus!" and then hours, days, weeks later I'm distracted by the shiny, glimmering sin hovering off the path. and there I am, denying Jesus, just like Peter.

maybe I don't openly blurt it out. but in my heart, I do. sin attracts me, hitting the very weakness I told Jesus I would never indulge again. and instead of remembering my promise, "I will never deny You!", I place Him on the shelf and think "will it really hurt if I do this? oh, but I can't, because of Jesus-- oh, whatever, I might as well just do it, get it over with, get it out of my system, and then I'll be ok."

how fickle we are. and yet, Jesus loves us. He loved Peter, even after he flunked the very test he signed up for. in Acts 5:17-32, we see Peter being used phenomenally by Jesus... and we see the power of sanctification as Peter, instead of denying Christ, proclaims Him.

"But Peter and the apostles answered, "We must obey God rather than men. The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom you had put to death by hanging Him on a cross. He is the One whom God exalted to His right hand as a Prince and a Savior, to grant repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins. And we are witnesses of these things; and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey Him." Acts 5:29-32 (NASB)

I am fickle. I disappoint, frustrate, sadden, and anger God. I make promises to Him that He knows I can't keep, and then I break them without blinking an eye or even acknowledging them to Him. I put Him on the back burner in order to save my earthly reputation or surround myself with a small, sinful pleasure. and still He loves me. because even though I am fickle, I am His, and through sanctification, He has great plans for me.

"So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?' He said to Him, 'Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.' He said to him, 'Tend My lambs.'

 "He said to him again a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love Me?' He said to Him, 'Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.' He said to him, 'Shepherd My sheep.'

"He said to him the third time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love Me?' Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, 'Do you love me?' And he said to Him, 'Lord, you know all things; You know that I love You.' Jesus said to him, 'Tend My sheep.'" John 21:15-17 (NASB).

P.S.: we have to remember, however, that there is a difference between fickle and dead. fickle people are believers in Jesus Christ, who are alive in Him, but continue to battle with the old loyalty to sin. dead people are spiritually dead to Christ, disinterested in the sacrifice and calling of Jesus Christ and destined for an eternity in hell.